INTERNET
Monday, April 30th, 2007
Archive for April, 2007
:: From the Mind of the Grumpy one ::
Monday, April 30th, 2007
Why men prefer a
handgun over a woman
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend’s handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary handgun doesn’t mind if you keep another handgun for a backup.
#6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A handgun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.
#4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A handgun doesn’t ask , “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
#2. A handgun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman:
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.
COLLEGE
Friday, April 27th, 2007
:: Grumpy’s Joke Of The Day ::
Friday, April 27th, 2007
One day, a blind man and his dog are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can’t control his amazement and says to the blind man, “Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!”
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, “To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass.”
Why Didn’t You Hear About This?
Thursday, April 26th, 2007“Newsom was kidnapped, raped and beaten. According to reports, his penis was then cut off before he was shot several times and set on fire, all while his girlfriend watched. His body was then dumped alongside train tracks. Christian was kept alive and gang-raped multiple times over a span of four days. Her breast was cut off while she was still alive and her kidnappers sprayed cleaning fluid into her mouth to cleanse it of DNA. Her body was then put into a garbage can.
“This should have been front- page, prime time news. There is speculation that because all five of the arrested kidnappers were black (photo of suspects), and the couple white, this story was swept under the rug. Whatever the case, instead of this legitimate news story, I have been spoon-fed pointless stories about Anna Nicole Smith and the innumerable men she slept with.
“It’s the unfortunate truth that the media cherry-pick the news on race. Last year, we saw blanket coverage of Sean Bell, who was shot by plainclothes New York City Police Department detectives, where race became such an unnecessary factor. Even worse was the coverage of the Duke lacrosse case, where very obvious lies were upheld for months.
Jesse Jackson is always on the frontline of racism. Where is he now?
THE BOTTOM SHELF
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
This Is A Must Do !
Thursday, April 26th, 2007Now Why Didn’t I Think Of This?
I will try it today when I get home!
GRUMPYS NEW SHIRT
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
:: Grumpy’s Joke Of The Day ::
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C., one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”
The New Jersey contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”
The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
The New Jersey contractor whispers back, “$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”
“Done!” replies the government official.
