I Don’t Make this shit up .. I just help spread it.

Archive for May, 2009

TRUE STORY FROM.. THE HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Last Thursday Night Around Midnight,
A Woman From Houston , Texas Was Arrested, Jailed, And Charged With Manslaughter
For Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back As He Was Running Away With Her Purse.
The Following Monday Morning,
The Woman Was Called In Front Of The Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, And Asked To Explain Her Actions.
The Woman Replied, “I Was Standing At The Corner Bus Stop For About 15 Minutes,
Waiting For The Bus To Take Me Home After Work. I Am A Waitress At A Local Cafe…
I Was There Alone, So I Had My Right Hand On My Pistol, That Was In My Purse, That Was Hung Over My Left Shoulder.
 All Of A Sudden I Was Being Spun Around Hard To My Left.
As I Caught My Balance, I Saw A Man Running Away From Me With My Purse.
I Looked Down At My Right Hand And I Saw That My Fingers Were Wrapped Tightly Around My Pistol.
The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud, ” No Way Punk! You’re Not Stealing My Pay Check And Tips.”
I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed My Pistol At The Man Running Away From Me With My Purse,
And Squeezed The Trigger Of My Pistol 6 Times!
When Asked By The Arraignment Judge, “Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times?
The Woman Replied Under Oath,  “Because, When I Pulled The Trigger Of My Pistol The 7th Time,
It Only Went Click.”
 
The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges.

And She Was Back At Work, At The Cafe, The Next Day!

Tough Questions

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor is going to get tough questions from senators during her confirmation hearings.

But I think she’ll be fine. I mean, this is a woman who spent her whole life in the courtroom, so she’s used to being around criminals.

- Jay Leno

Hey…..You Too?

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

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Plates

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

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Wise Words From A Founding Father

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

“Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.”

- Benjamin Franklin

Obama Toes

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

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AARP

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

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Final Show

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

Welcome to the exciting season finale of the Tonight Show. This is the last show after 17 years on the air.

You know, when I started the show, my hair was black and the president was white.

- Jay Leno

Somebody knocked up the prom queen.

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

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